Unopened Letters

Three years ago, I had the desire to start writing letters again. I truly believe this was something God dropped into my spirit after I had written a long letter to a friend. I was very truthful in all the things I’d written to him. I had missed that. Now, I can text with the best of them, but letters are more personal and intimate. So, the Lord gave me the acronym LETTERS (I will disclose that in a future post). Initially what I wanted to do was to be a blessing to people and write them letters, but these weren’t ordinary letters. I was trusting the spirit of God to lead me in what to write to every individual. I did not want to go off my own knowledge and have the letters based off information I already knew. No – this was totally God writing but through me. Fast-forward two years later and I incorporated LETTERS into the life of my unborn son.

I am always interested in learning more about the whole writing field, the various backgrounds and all types of services it can provide. Greg Prescott has a company called Prescott Papers, a Professional Custom Writing Service. He is a link with information providing one the many services.

https://www.prescottpapers.com/writers-online.php

Letter One

On Friday, June 12th, 2015, I wrote my first letter to my unborn son. I wanted my son to know who his mother was. I had no preconceptions about my labor or thereafter; I wanted my son to know about me and how he came to be. I wanted memories left for him about my life while I was carrying him. Writing Unopened Letters for my son's future was a fun and blessed experience. I had an idea of the things I wanted to write to him, but I also wanted the words to flow from my heart. The focus of my letters to my son was making sure he knew the truth about his conception and how deeply I already loved him. Even though he had yet entered the earth, I was fully able to understand when people would say, "there's nothing like a the bond between a mother and her child." I tried to make sure I wrote at least one letter a week. There were times where I wrote two letters a week. I always told my son his daddy loved him even though he wasn't here right now. I would never bad-mouth him but always said that he would have to explain to you himself why he left, would always leave etc. During my pregnancy, I was being prepared and groomed for so many things. Writing these letters initiated the fire within me me to get back to my gift of writing. I allowed myself to become distracted by people and situations where I wouldn't stay consistent with my writing. I didn't have a goal of how many I would write but I wanted to make sure there were enough to give him a general idea about who his mother was.

Letter Six

By July 14th, I had written my sixth letter to my son. I was so excited I chose to do this for him! There was another reason, secret that I kept to myself as to why I wanted my son to have these letters. I may not have had any worries about my labor, but some crazy thoughts did cross my mind about possible scenarios after his birth.

My son’s father has two older boys with another woman. He has a dysfunctional and unhealthy relationship with this woman where they’re always going back and forth. They’re either together and all is fine, or they’re not together and doing their own thing and aren’t officially a couple but will still start drama about what the other is or isn’t doing. Well, let’s just said my son’s father and I got together during one of their “breaks”. I foolishly thought this break would lead to permanency. There were obvious signs that no such break existed and there didn’t look to be one anytime soon. I wasn’t stupid but I convinced myself I could help my son’s father be a better person and do better if he was away from her. I wasn’t necessarily the best choice, but the healthiest choice. This woman finally found out about me. She found out about my pregnancy. Now, to-this-day, she and I have never met or had an actual conversation. I only know her by what others says about her that do know her and by the content she posts on her Facebook page. I won’t say I started fearing for my life but I did become somewhat concerned about my well-being. Would she show up at my house? Would she be sitting outside waiting for me (I worked late nights)? Would she try and do harm to me because I have a baby by her kid’s father? The fact that my son’s father stayed MIA during my entire pregnancy was another cause for concern. I had no clue about the things he was telling her about me and our “relationship” and everything that took place. He probably was lying to her in the same manner he was lying to me. My letters would be proof of the truth about us. I wanted my son to know the truth regardless of how hurtful it may have been, no matter how dumb and foolish I may have been, and how unbelievable the story may sound, it was the truth, my truth. He will have documentation of my moments and circumstances that I endured while carrying him. My prayer is that I will be around when he can read and understand them.

I no longer have shame or feel convicted about my past, particularly, the situation that I had with my son’s father. It took me a very long time to forgive myself and to understand what happened when it did, why it did and with who it did. I am going forward with my life for my son and me. I am growing in God and have turned my darkest moments into testimonies to share with others so they may have hope in whatever it is they are going through.

I love you and I thank you for reading my post. Be encouraged IN the Lord today! 💝