Be Happy

"All I really want
is to be happy
And to find a love that's mine
It would be so sweet"

I'm sure most people know that song. It's called Be Happy by Mary J. Blige.

Philippians 4:12 NLT

I know how to live on almost nothing or with everything. I have learned the secret of living in every situation, whether it is with a full stomach or empty, with plenty or little.

No, a man or woman doesn't or shouldn't determine our OWN happiness! They SHOULD, however, add and bring their own happiness into the relationship!

I just want my OWN LOVE! My own FOREVER! But NOT just with any man! With the man GOD ALREADY HAS MOLDED & SCULPTURED OUT FOR ME ALONE!!!
A few exes in my past, I would have almost bet my life they were "The One" God had for me. 1 of them I know I was in fact willing to bet my life that he was to be my husband. But that was 4/4.5 years of my life that I can't get back!!!! (TESTIMONY)

I REFUSE to go through that again!👎👎👎👎 I CANNOT put my emotional, mental, and spiritual health through that again!!!

When I'm in a relationship, I'm dating with a purpose! I'm not dating just to pass the time and to see how long it can last or because it's fun. I date with the intent on a serious commitment where it's HEADED towards the alter! That's where I was headed with that long relationship I mentioned earlier. Or shall I say, that was MY intent and where my heart was at, but that other side of the coin never got to see the results.

Yesterday, my cousin posted on my Timeline and said,
"If I could give you anything in the world it would be the key to the heart of a God-Fearing, well rounded and handsome man! A guy customized just for You! ‪#‎youaresodeservin."

Psalms 139:14 NLT

Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it.

That truly touched my heart what my cousin posted because even though deep down inside I KNOW I deserve better and to have the best God has for me, my outer self has a very difficult time with that realization. I settle for less.. and keep settling for less! I put up with things and except things I don't deserve. What it all boils down to is I accept what I can get. Or in "my mind"', I accept what I think I'm only able to get. A lot of the times, my conscious makes me think I really don't deserve better and that I won't ever have that dream come to past. I DON'T want to have the "girlfriend" title for the rest of my life or be the side chick/other woman or the woman it's okay tojust have sex with but NOT good enough to be in a relationship with.

1 Corinthians 6:20 NLT

for God bought you with a high price. So you must honor God with your body.

The Lord knows my struggles and weaknesses. I have such a strong desire to be married and have a family. I'm about to turn 31 soon and my inner-self thinks that I'm getting too old and am running out of time. God's clock isn't like the world's clock. True, it's not my dream to be 40 and having my first child, but who am I to say that's not what God has planned for me?? I don't believe it is. I truly believe when He delivers me from all these strongholds and the things I'm battling, which I know is preventing me from meeting my future husband, only then will my future be TRULY revealed to me.